Big Girl Pill Page 3

  “Did she break you or something?” Drew pressed a hand against the small of her back. She jumped.

  “Huh?”

  He stepped around her and picked up the dishes from the table. “Never mind. I got it.”

  “Okay.”

  The plate clattered as he set it near the sink, and Drew turned on the faucet. “I don’t know how, but I forgot church clothes, so sometime today I need to stop by my place and get some.”

  In a few weeks, all his church clothes were going to be mixed with hers as Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Evans and that made her feel safe and comfortable. She’d always wanted a June wedding, but that wasn’t going to happen. School wouldn’t be out, but since there wasn’t going to be a honeymoon, she’d agreed with Drew and her mother. They had no reason to wait, after all. A weekend in May would suffice.

  She looked at him and smiled. “Okay.”

  “Oh, and I know you have that thing with Rachel on Wednesday, but don’t forget, that night we’re having dinner with Monty and Jake.”

  Nina groaned. She hadn’t meant to. It just came out.

  Drew crossed his arms. “What?”

  Irritation gripped her. She wasn’t sure she was in the mood for his friends. “They don’t like me. You know that.”

  “They don’t know you.”

  “We’ve been together for almost two years. We’ve had dinner, lunch, weekends. I’m sure you’ll have more fun if you go without me this time.”

  “That’s not an option. Their girlfriends will be there, too. You’ll have—”

  “They don’t like me, either. I don’t fit in. I don’t take selfies or pictures of my nails. I’m not into Instagram or Twitter. They look at me like I’m weird.”

  Drew pursed his lips and looked heavenward before glancing back down at her. “Fake it ’til you make it. They’re my friends and they’re not going anywhere. You should know that by now. Might as well call them family. I’ve gone out of my way for your mother.”

  Guilt snuck up on her and lingered like an aftertaste. He was right, and she’d been dealing with his friends all this time, so what was one more dinner? She ignored the voice telling her there would be many more to come. She leaned into him. “I’m sorry. You’re right.”

  He wrapped an arm around her. “Just figure it out. Be whoever you need to be.”

  She nodded and her phone rang. She pulled away slightly, looked down at it, and then waved at him, motioning him to be quiet. It was her mother. After being caught at her apartment in the early morning a few times the past couple years, her mother knew that Drew stayed over, but there was no need to advertise. Nina didn’t want to deal with her mother’s disappointment. God, she couldn’t imagine the constant guilt trip she would have been subjected to if she and Drew lived together. He’d been right about them waiting until they were married. “Good morning, Mom.”

  “No, it really isn’t. Nadine cancelled on me so I was wondering if you wanted to meet for lunch. I don’t want to be seen eating alone.”

  “Sure. Will you be at Tupelo Honey?”

  “Yes, but if we have to, we can go to another restaurant.”

  And sit there while she made faces at everything? “No, that’s fine.”

  “Good. Twelve thirty sharp, then.”

  “I’ll be there.” Nina hung up.

  “Oh, I’m jealous. Bring me back the usual,” Drew said.

  Instead of answering, Nina nodded again and, without another word, headed down the hall. She needed to shower.

  **

  Mentally, Nina urged the hostess to move a little faster. It was already 12:34. Other customers weaved around them either leaving or being seated while waitstaff rushed around trying to do their jobs. Nina stopped behind the hostess as she let someone else pass, but took that time to scan the restaurant and spotted her mother a few feet ahead. Sarah Sterling shifted in her seat. Her face was pinched with what Nina assumed was disappointment. “I see her. Thanks.”

  The hostess smiled. Nina glanced down at her watch. It was 12:36 when she got to her mother’s side. “Sorry, Mom.”

  Sarah glanced up at her. “Apology for your lateness?”

  Nina bent down and brushed a kiss against her mother’s cheek. “Yes.”

  “Thank you. I already ordered for you.” Sarah leaned into the caress. Someone must have been watching them. She usually shrank back a little when Nina engaged in dutiful affection.

  Sucking down her aggravation at her mother’s audacity concerning the food, she merely smiled as she sat down. “Something good, I hope.”

  “Eggs Benedict with smoked salmon.” She paused. “A dribble of hollandaise for me and none for you. You may be a size twelve but with your height, it looks more like a fourteen.”

  Nina’s stomach took a dive, but it had nothing to do with the dig about her weight. Maya had helped her embrace her curves a few years back. Plus, Drew never complained. She also hated salmon. It was too fishy, and without hollandaise, it was just eggs on a damn English muffin. “Sounds great,” she lied.

  “It’s what Nadine and I always order. I love that they have brunch on Saturdays.”

  Well, good for Nadine. Nina was sure the only reason her mother had facilitated the friendship with Nadine all these years was because she was a mousy, soft-spoken woman she could walk all over. “It’s Asheville, Mom. You can get breakfast all day at any diner.”

  “I like this place just fine.” Sarah scrunched her nose. “What are you wearing?”

  Nina glanced down at herself. The word “clothes” filled her mouth but she said nothing. Instead, she scanned the restaurant. In a pair of white pixie pants and a short-sleeve, powder blue, button-down shirt, Nina blended in with the crowd just fine.

  Her mother sighed. “On your face.”

  “Oh. Just some lip gloss.”

  Sarah looked around, as if she was worried someone was watching, then leaned forward. “Yes, I can tell. How many times have I told you? Always be in full makeup for social calls, no matter who you’re with. If you take care of yourself, you’ll look like me when you get older. You can certainly overcome the genes from your father’s side of the family.”

  Nina was pretty sure it didn’t work that way. She ignored the insult toward her absentee father and blandly agreed. With the exception of some additional pounds, she was indeed her mother’s lookalike, complete with long strawberry blonde hair, green eyes, full lips, and high cheekbones. Nina studied her mother. Another glaring difference was the fine lines around Sarah Sterling’s eyes and lips, and that her hair color was maintained with the help of a stylist and a bottle of dye.

  “With the way you look right now, I hope nobody I know saw you on your way here.”

  Not unless they had super-enhanced vision. Nina had driven at least seventy-five on the interstate to get to the downtown area on time.

  “You’re getting married. Drew is a good man. You have to make concessions to keep him interested.”

  Nina almost bit her tongue to keep from laughing at the irony. Those particular concessions hadn’t worked for her mother at all. She often envisioned her father running away screaming instead of just fading into the background when the divorce was final. He still tried to contact her occasionally. They’d never been close, but Nina would probably never forgive him for not taking her with him. “I always remember to treat him well.”

  Sarah’s eyes narrowed.

  “He does the same for me,” Nina added for clarification. She had to change the subject or Nina would end up spending the rest of brunch with her skin being artfully stripped by her mother’s words. A couple of digs she could handle, but she didn’t want to go beyond that. She cleared her throat. “Well, I’m glad you thought of me to replace Nadine.”

  Sarah scoffed, “Who else should I have called? Rachel?”

  “She won’t be in town until Wednesday morning.”

  “That’s not the point I was trying to make.”

  She knew that, but she was trying for some su
bterfuge. “Oh, sorry.”

  “Stop apologizing. It’s fine.” Sarah waved her hand dismissively. “I know it’s much too late at this point, but maybe she won’t be able to come and one of your normal friends can step in as maid of honor.” She pursed her lips. “At least she doesn’t look mannish. And don’t get me started on the black girl. Good thing there’s only one. Drew is very open-minded to agree to all that, otherwise I wouldn’t have allowed it. As it is, I can’t imagine what people are going to think.”

  Nina’s stomach clenched. Every single thing in existence was all about appearances. Religion, charities, and all the uppity acquaintances to cover up the fact that they were completely and utterly basic. God, how could she have come from such a shallow, intolerant person? Nina picked up her water and looked away. She’d heard this same complaint many, many times.

  Her mother had made final approval on the wedding planner, the venue, and almost everything else. Drew’s parents were happy to help by throwing money her way. Nina was actually a little proud of herself for picking her cousin Rachel as maid of honor and Maya as a bridesmaid. It was her way of making this wedding her own, and if she was being honest with herself, having them in the ceremony was also a tiny attempt at a backdoor rebellion, or as close to one as she was going to get.

  “Mmm, that is just delightful.” Sarah made a small sound of satisfaction. When Nina glanced at her, she was placing a glass of orange juice back on the table. She then pushed it Nina’s way. “I dare you to tell me it’s not.”

  “I don’t like orange juice, Mom.” Shouldn’t a mother remember these things?

  “Nonsense. Try it.”

  Nina stared.

  “Go on.” Sarah gestured at her, hurrying her.

  Beating down her frustration, she reached for the glass, brought it to her lips, and hoped she put on a convincing show of drinking. After setting the glass back down, Nina licked her lips. “You’re right. Not too sour or too sweet.”

  “Exactly.” Sarah smiled as if she’d gotten the best gift. “Now, how’s that fiancé of yours?”

  “Great.” Nina reached for the pepper shaker, bringing it closer like it was some kind of protective talisman. Given how this lunch had started, she was going to need it. She braced herself internally, bit back a sigh, and settled in for the next hour or so.

  Chapter 3

  Nina smiled and nodded at a couple of other teachers in the main lounge. They barely acknowledged her, but she was used to it. She headed straight for the refrigerator and shoved her lunch inside. Despite the supposed scrubbing it had been given last week, it still smelled sour. She ignored that, too, and immediately looked down at her phone and pressed the home button. There were no new notifications of any kind.

  “You’ve been checking your phone on and off since we left your apartment.”

  She glanced up at Drew. “Really? I don’t think so.”

  He tilted his head and stared at her, expression skeptical.

  Nina sighed and rolled her eyes before giving in to him. “I texted Maya over an hour ago. I think she’s ignoring me.” What did she expect, really? For the wedding to bring them miraculously together? This was getting embarrassing. Maya had already turned her down once.

  “Or maybe she’s sleeping. It’s early.”

  “In college, she was up by six.”

  “This isn’t college.” Drew put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a soft smile.

  He was probably right.

  More school staff entered the lounge while some left. The new people made a beeline for them. Jake gave Nina a quick grin that was gone as soon as it started.

  “Mornin’, Nina,” Monty said.

  “Good morning.” She didn’t even bother with their names, since they had already given their attention to Drew. They were his friends, after all, and they’d known him since he first started teaching at Franklin Delaney Charter School as the sixth-grade math teacher. She was just dressing on the side.

  Despite her conversation with Drew over the weekend, she was painfully aware that they paid her just enough attention to keep things courteous. Gratefully, they were never malicious or mean, just cliquish to the point of why bother. Regardless, she wasn’t completely alone. She had acquaintances at school, though a lot of her colleagues believed her job was the product of nepotism because of her existing relationship with Drew. Being a public school teacher was an easier job to land and she had three offers to prove it. But that wasn’t good enough for her mother and the faux-but-polished image she portrayed to the community. Finding a job at a private school had thus been a priority.

  Drew offered a compromise in the form of an opening for a fourth-grade teacher at his charter school. For Sarah Sterling, that was enough and for Nina, it had been a relief. She’d be forever thankful to him for that. Tired of the put-downs, she had been a step away from giving in. When it came to her mother, it was always easier to give in, a lesson she’d relearned quickly after graduation. Her mother had a way of wearing her down to an overly sensitized nub. Despite all that, Nina did her best to hang on to that dim little voice that told her she’d gotten here on her own merit, even if it wasn’t exactly where she wanted to be.

  She headed toward the door.

  “Nina.”

  She scanned the room and her gaze landed on Sally and Tammy. She wasn’t up for air-kissing today, either. Instead, she waved and walked into the hallway. A majority of the classrooms she passed were quiet, but there were a few with teachers changing bulletin boards and getting prepared for the day. She turned right and squeezed her phone, then paused, thinking again about Maya.

  Things couldn’t exactly get worse with her. So why not leave it? Maya had agreed to be in the wedding, whether it was out of some weird sense of obligation or a sliver of reverence for the past. That should be enough.

  Nina scrolled to Maya’s contact information and hit the call button. It rang three times.

  “Hello?” Maya’s voice was deep, rough.

  “Hey,” she managed, tension sitting in her gut. “Did I wake you up? Sorry.” But she wasn’t. She really wasn’t. She started walking again.

  “Who…who is this?”

  Cold splinters of the past stabbed Nina’s chest. “Um…” She sighed, resigned. “It’s Nina.”

  “Shit. Sorry. I’m up now.” Maya exhaled forcefully. “I’m up. Something wrong?”

  Stupid. This was stupid. Nina pulled her cell away from her ear and whispered, “Stupid.”

  “Nina?”

  “Um, yeah, I didn’t mean to bother you. Just go back to bed. Class is starting soon, anyway.”

  “I have to get up.”

  “Okay. Give me a call later if you want.” Nina hung up. She started walking, turned left, and covered her mouth with her hand, thoughts churning as she went to her classroom. She wasn’t surprised to see her doorway occupied. She took a breath, sucking everything that she felt deep enough to bury it, at least for now, because she needed to be present for her students.

  As she got closer to the doorway, she slowed. Allie was generally decked out in the latest styles in what Nina guessed was an attempt to be an overachiever in fashion, just as she was in everything else, but she wasn’t exactly sure what this style was. She didn’t mean to stare, but how could she not? Allie adjusted the headband she wore, covered with an array of pastel-colored roses and other flowers, some large and some small. Her long blonde hair flowed past her shoulders and down her back. Her shirt had some of the same colors as her headband—light blues, lavender, and pinks. A dripping black crescent moon graphic decorated the front of her headband and her skirt looked as though a rainbow had bled on it. The administration was going to have a collective stroke when they saw her, given how rigid and uptight things were at this school.

  Nina smiled. “Good morning, Allie.”

  “Hi.” Allie pushed away from the door and turned on the charm. Her grin was just as bright as her eyes. She twirled, making the skirt flare out dramatically. She
was only nine now, but Allie was going to make a great actress someday. Who the hell was she kidding? This girl could totally be president.

  “You look very interesting this morning. Wanna tell me about it?”

  Allie stepped out of the way as Nina unlocked and opened her classroom door.

  She shook her head like an expert, making blonde tresses flounce. “Pastel goth. My mom saw it on Tumblr and thought it would be perfect for me.” Allie smiled as if she knew her mother was right. “I didn’t like the unicorn horn, though.”

  Nina blinked. “That’s too bad.”

  “I didn’t want Charlie to pull on it. My mom says he probably needs medicine. I think he does, too.”

  Pressing her lips together kept Nina from agreeing as well. Every classroom had at least one Charlie. “Good to know. So, let’s get started. You know the routine.”

  Allie flounced like an excited puppy toward the blackboard in the back. Nina kept an eye on her, making sure she focused on moving everyone back to green, Charlie included. It was a new day, so the kids had a choice to either get bumped up or down a color or more based on conduct, and Nina wanted to ensure that they succeeded. She forced thoughts of Maya out of her head and prepared for the day.

  **

  Maya switched off the air conditioner in her SUV and opened the windows. It was hot outside, but there was a nice breeze. The sky was hazy, yet the sun was bright enough that she had to put on shades. She stopped at a red light and looked around at downtown Weaverville. Coffee shops and quaint little cafes lined both sides of North Main. Each business was painted a different color to make it stand out, and almost all of them had tiny tables outside. People sipped their coffee while their dogs lay at their feet. Weaverville was pretty much a smaller, cozier version of Asheville. They had their vegan and organic hot spots here, too, along with plenty of brewpubs. Maybe Candler would catch up some day and have more than just one hot dog place and a Sonic.

  As she passed Blue Mountain Pizza, her mouth watered. She was tempted to do take-and-bake with a fifteen-inch Islander with extra smoked pork and pineapple, but Winston’s lasagna was even better after a couple days. She drove on, and when she got to the stop sign at the corner of North Main and Florida Avenue, she glanced to the left at Well Bred Bakery and Cafe. It was then that she decided that three of those giant-ass eclairs would be perfect for them to inhale after leftovers.